Reasons

Firstly a quick note about this blog - Updating may be a bit spasmodic at times as i'm juggling uni, friend commitments, and hooking all at once without much time for relief. So apologies there. This is really just a place to vent about the things that i can't really speak to anyone else about.

Casing point: a few nights ago i had a bad one. Not a bad bad one (i.e enforced, violent etc...) but a shit one nonetheless. I'd been having a bad day; awkward time of the month, parents being fucked about uni stuff, the usual things that bring a girl down. And he was a new client.

So first he argues about the price for a very long while (guys, don't do it. We don't have to sleep with you) he even suggests that his bedroom prowess would make up for my monetary losses. (er... no) When he finally concedes he wants to talk and asks me rather intimate details about my life - and not the usual kinky 'Did you and your best friend ever touch each other' kind of thing, more 'Where do you study, what course do you do, where do you come from?'. (Don't bother, i'll only lie) When we finally got down to the sex it was like fucking a robot. A robot who kept pinching my arse really hard. (Things like that with someone/a client that you're into is ok, but not when you've put me through all that shit) I have actual big bruises on each cheek now.

I returned to my dorm, locked my door and punched the pillow repeatedly. I wanted to scream so i buried my face in the duvet. There is no one here i can talk to or bitch about the bad times to. I'm not looking for sympathy - fuck no - if i didn't get something out of it i wouldn't do it. I just need to tell someone these things before it has an impact upon my already brittle sanity.

K?