Had a call from the dreaded 'One and Only' ex that we all seem to acquire at some point in our love lives. Mine is a fair few years older whom i met when i was quite young and misbehaving. It's been the most painful, passionate and complex relationship i think i'll ever have.
In typical fashion he pretended to be interested in what was happening in my life, subtly suggested we 'hook-up' and then got angry when i called him on it.
Didn't he think i'd realise he was after a shag when i looked down and saw his dick in me?
I've decided that in future if he wants sex from me he'll have to pay just like everyone else. That's only fair.
Son of a Bitch.
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